Birthday boy + emo nemo little me

Meet my family! Hah anyways....

A very happy 43rd birthday to Herman Bin Jamil. Chey hahaha, well. I bought a small durian cake after ze meeting at school for a mini celebration at night and we successfully managed to surprise papa when he came home :') It was just me and mama though because adik came home late.

I still remember that tragic accident papa got into. I was only 14 then. It was on the news and papa's car was literally cut into half! Papa was SO CLOSE to dying. The thought of it still scares me. I cannot imagine life without papa. Papa means everything. He is the only one working so hard to earn all the money for our family. If papa's gone..... Then, our life would be so very different. It would be hard, really tough. With me and adik still schooling, we'd have to think of the expensive school fees and spendings. The house and all the bills. Daily meals. Shopping. Everything would change. Nothing would be the same. Instead of an average girl, I might have financial problems and what not. Every day I thank God that He did not take papa's life. Syukur Alhamdullilah that papa is still around, right here right now. I don't know what would be of us without papa. I love papa very much <3 He is the best in the world. Despite whatever he says/does, I know he means the best. No matter what, I will always love papa :')

Thinking about papa in this scenario reminds me of Alif's late dad. I really feel so bad. Alif, being my boyfriend at the time, never mentioned to me about his dad's cancer. And me, being stupid and paranoid and all those freaking shit, I broke up with him because of so many idiotic reasons. Little did I know, I left him when he needed me the most. I'm such an asshole. It took his bestfriend to inform me and by then it was all too late. All I could do was give my condolences and I gave him $20 out of my own pathetic pocket money. It was worth it, although I then didn't have money to eat for the whole week. I really pity him.

You know, I think I'm such a bitch. He did so many things for me yet I never saw it. I chose to ignore all the things he did for me. Many questioned our relationship, but now I do too. Right now, I wonder if I really loved him. I know he did. To think about it, I can recall the way he looked at me, the way he said he loved me, the way he treated me. I should have known better. I let myself listen to what my friend said to me instead of listening to my heart and seeing it with my own eyes. I let a friend of mine brainwash me into thinking so many negative thoughts about him which made me question his love for me.

Little did I know, that friend wasn't a friend. How was I to know that she was in love with my boyfriend? My very own best friend at that point of time. Oh God, the things she did to me. She let her jealousy get in the way of our friendship and she broke me all the way down. She made all my friends turn their backs on me. She made everyone hate me. She made it seem like I'm such a bad person. Until now, I really have no idea what are the rumours she spread about me.

Well, I could go on forever when it comes to the topic of Alif and Nora. This story is one that goes a long way. I should stop before I start getting too emotional right now. But hey, at least now we're all good. We've all forgiven each other, we're all friends, and we don't speak of our past anymore. Guess we're all just trying our best to forget about all that because it hurts. *shrugs*

Le sigh. I haven't talked to Hamka since yesterday. I have no idea why I'm so annoyed by him lately. I think it's my stupid ass period. But well, he's really sensitive. So he's all down and hurt and what not. Actually, this isn't a big deal. I mean, there's nothing I can do if my idiotic pms decides to act up. He could just let me be for now and then everything could be back to normal when my period's done. But no, he had to say that it's unfair to him. I mean, come on! This is me during periods. He has got to learn to live with this. It's not like it's weeks of not talking or something, it's just a day or two. Doesn't hurt, right? Gosh. So he feels that it's unfair to him if I don't talk to him during my period... Then would he rather I talk to him and get pissed at him for nothing because I'm on my period which could potentially lead to arguments/fights? No I don't want that. That is why I chose to not talk to him during this time when I'm all moody and shit. But well, I have no idea what to do now. He still feels miserable and he's still being sensitive. And I'm here like god dude gimme a break! And all of a sudden I'm pissed at him. *jumps off building* I hope we can work things out tmr.

PERIOD'S A FREAKING PAIN IN THE BUM BUM >:( I hate periods! Causing all these stupid hoo haa which is so unnecessary, hmph.

Ex boyfriend + Bulatians

Hi I was suddenly thinking about the random time last week that this boy called me up just to randomly ask what I was doing. Weird thing is, we haven't contacted since...... Raya last year was it? I don't know. Didn't even know he had my new number. And then I recalled that..... I FORGOT TO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, his birthday was 9th march! Crap. Oh well *shrugs* :/

That was me and Alif during prom, haha! We were still awkward then, a lil bit. Hah.

All the things that happened between us, oh god. Such drama! Even after we broke up, so many fights and what not. Well at least now all's well :)

He got into RP and will be joining STA if I'm not wrong, so he'll actually be my JUNIOR muahaha! Well, really hope I can meet up with him and the other Bulatians to just hang like the old times in secondary school. So much to catch up on! Really miss them :'(

Princess in pink

Vas sapnin! Been more than a week since I've updated, this is because I've been pretty much too busy with plans everyday. Well, mostly. Besides some stay home and become a couch potato days.

So basically, as usual, me having a very short termed memory, I cannot recall all that's happened.

For the first time, I worked kendarat under Muhaimin's team for 50bucks last Saturday. It was really fun and tiring! Met a lot of friendly people, and I smoked 4 sticks that day. Meh. Free from the boys, so.... *shrugs* Most of them are smokers, and skaters.

Oh, and I've been having like one date a week with love since he's working full time at Fourskin. I'm only able to meet him like once a week, which will obviously be his off day.

By the way, I feel like I'm so blessed. Hamka has been like the perfect boyfriend to me. He's just too sweet, too honest, too nice to me and everything. But me? I think I'm just like the worst girlfriend, meh.

Anyways, I've been going to Bishan since Monday and will be til Thursday. I'm accompanying my ami yami mummy queeny b give out flyers. Oh hell, it's one tough job there.

So I think I might give it a try to participate in the most awesomest competition ever. A trip to Sydney, with Boy Thunder, to meet my babyboyz BACKSTAGE during their concert on the 13th of April. I'm still contemplating because of my commitments and school... And of course my parents. But well, I WANT IT SO BADLY! Geez.

Happy Kitty

Hello there. So, been a while since I update huh.

Monday evening I met ze babygirls at JP for sushi and some other stuffs. Tuesday morning went karaoke with mama, daddy, ami and iqbal. Tuesday evening went to town with ami. Wednesday afternoon went to cck polyclinic with ami, then home to get my ic, then back there again (swear it was such a hassle pfft), then accompanied ami to bishan to send her phone for repair. Thursday spent the day with nenek and embah at their house, nenek helped me alter my black service uniform and I looked through some of my baby pictures + pictures of papa when he was around my age with embah. Thursday evening went to collect my pretty 1D tote bag and then visited my princess sister at work. Accompanied her for about an hour then we met luqy and qih, happy3rd to my princess sister and faqih!

Friday, a date with ze boyfriend *.* Teehee! Caught John Carter and then we just slacked by the river til night, it was nice :)

Saturday, last minute outing with aiman. He treated me to Swensen's at bugis! Yummeh. He then bought me TWO freaking huge 1D posters from cine ^.^ *screams in joy* He almost bought me a Victoria Secret Body Mist, Famous Amos cookies, Sticky candies, CLOTHES, shoes and some other stuffs, but I refused them all cause I feel bad. Though I badly wanted it. I mean, they're pretty tempting *.* Hah. I then decided to visit ze boy at tampines ;) So before parting, aiman gave me duit blanje. 20 freaking bucks! Shocking much? Like bapak bapak sia! HAHA. But oh god, I'm so thankful that he is willing to spend that much on me. Lulz! And he kept saying how cute I am and how pretty I am and how much he misses me -.- He kissed my forehead when we were saying goodbye, err? Okay, chill bro. HAHA, I'm a lil creeped out by that. But, oh well. He's a loving brother I guess? Hah.

So I spent about an hour with love just chilling by the rooftop of one of the shopping malls there. Can you believe it that there's three freaking malls at tampines, all super duper near to each other? It's like they have everything there! HAIS. Unfair.

Sunday? Just a stay home couch potato day. *shrugs*

Boyfriend ♥.♥

Heheheehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hi.

Been blushing and smiling to myself.

So...................................

I officially have a boyfriend now. ^.^

5th March 2012. ♥

Sadly, it's his first day of work.

On our first monthsary, 5th April, I'll be having my SOH Orientation Camp! Sigh.

He didn't propose to me in the best way possible. But he tried.. And it was really cute of him. Plus, I literally went speechless.

Well, all I can say is.....

I love Norhamka Bin Abdul Halim very much, and I've missed him so. ♥

The Last Wiggle + My Minah Sepet

29th February - 2nd March. 3D2N chalet at Downtown East. Room A-01.

It was the second class chalet we had. Fun? Yes. But there was a hell lot of drama too. Kinda spoiled the mood of the chalet on the second day.

Sugi and Shafique confessed to me and they both made out with me. Shocked the hell out of me.

Sugi was drunk so I was not mad at him and I forgave him as soon as he apologized.

Shafique? Fucking sober. So why? Yeah, was super pissed at him. He could still tease me about it the next morning and be all joke-ish about it. I swear he was just pissing me off even more.

Pretended I was fine though. Tried my best to keep it to myself. Didn't wanna ruin the chalet mood for everyone. But then, most of them noticed that I wasn't myself. And Shafique created a scene during the bbq. -.-

Then he tweeted a hell lot about me. Even after the chalet. Oh God.

Oh well, I've forgiven both of them. Let's just not speak of this ever again, shall we boys?

Hectic chalet, it was.

Thank God I met Hamka on the second day after all that happened. He made me feel better, definitely! :') And, I promised myself that the box of Winston XS I have right now will be my last box. Doing it for Hamka because I know deep down he doesn't like it even though he has never spoke a word about it. I don't know why but i was extremely shy with him that afternoon, I'm not usually like that with him. I avoided eye contact numerous times and I kept biting my lips. Damn was I shy. Wonder why. *shrugs*

Friday, went home and changed and went out straight away. Waited for Ulrica for ONE HOUR but oh well. Am always waiting for her because she's always late to meet me. Accompanied her to shop for some stuffs for China. She's heading off for FIVE FREAKING WEEKS!!!!! Sacrificed my sleep to meet her because it's the only day she's free to meet me before taking off this Wednesday. And I won't be able to meet her for the next month. Ulrica, my tuition best friend, my babygirl, my minah sepet, my bully. Yes, she forever bully me when she meet me. Haha! But I love her. Well, I'm glad I met her. Just spent some time with her and it was pretty fun. Can't wait for a proper date out with her when she's back!!!! <3