Hello 2013, Goodbye 2012

A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you! (though I doubt I have readers, hah)

Wow didn't the year just flew by?

Well, 2012 was a roller coaster ride. It was a year of many "firsts".
Hamka and all the "firsts" we had together. The hoo-haa with the love triangle shit. Became a heavy smoker. Started drinking. Piercing my navel. Dating friends(which didn't end well). The flings. Kissing girls. Tonning without my parents's permission and getting fucked. Shop lifting. The drama at Perth. Court. Criminal record. Losing many friends. At the same time making some new friends. Picked up skating and actually owning a skateboard and a penny board. Flirting around. Working kendarat (team Club Jazz ftw). Shisha. Going home past midnight. And I suppose many more that I probably can't remember. I mean, it HAS been a whole damn year.

Of course I have learnt my mistake and shop lifting is a huge no no for me now. (many don't realise what a vast difference it is between stealing and shop lifting) And I have successfully cut down a whole lot on smoking! (cannot hide how proud I am of myself)

I'm glad that throughout everything, Ami was with me the whole way. Can never be thankful enough for my bestest girl. I hope we will be bestfriends forever. (cliche much hehe but I mean it)

I realise I get too attached easily. It happened with H and now I'm afraid it's happening with R (this really cute guy I just met). I am a naive girl who easily fall for sweet words. No matter the countless times I keep reminding myself that actions speaks louder than words. I keep allowing people to make use of me, why? Am I a toy? Maybe I expect too much and then disappoint myself. The heartbreaks? Maybe I brought them upon myself. Maybe the blame is on me after all.

Well, I just really hope this time it's different. I really really like R and I hope he's not playing me. Please don't make me fall if you don't have the intentions of catching me, I beg of you. Please don't lead me on if you're not serious. And most of all please let me be the only girl.... I hope he isn't the kind who gets pissed off and annoyed at every little thing, like H. If that's the case, I'm gonna suffer for sure. I'm going to put in effort and I will do my best to work this out with R. I hope he puts in the effort too! Ugh I don't get why I'm so into skater boys when their number one passion and priority is skate. Life is hard for me huh? Boohoo, suck it up bitch!

I usually spend new years with my family. It was only last year that I spent it out with Hamka and having our first kiss at midnight right under the fireworks over at Marina. This year, my friends went to Siloso Beach Party and also town to ton. I was invited but.... I feel like I'm left out as usual, I didn't wanna go and be all awkward. I was afraid. Plus, I wasn't sure my parents were gonna allow that. Hah! So I spent it tonning with my family instead, just a nice time in the comfort of home. Oh well *shrugs* Better luck this year!

All the best to me then, xx

Let's catch up!

Love life? Forget it all.
Fuck H for being such a jerk to have left me hanging after everything we've been through. The sacrifices I've made for him, the effort I've put in for us, the amount of care I've given him. I cannot express how angry and broken I am. Now he treats me like a stranger, which sucks. Big time, ugh. My ear piece is still with him though, pfft. Forget it. It will take forever if I want to rant every single thing about him, so maybe next time. Nah, don't even bother.

Social life?
I don't even know. My clique? Seems to be leaving me out a lot. I feel like such a loner most of the time. No close friends in class or even outside. Some times I wonder what I have done to deserve this. Of course I have Ami but I feel like people accept her more than me. She's way prettier and people think she's cute because she's a bimbo. Plus she is always dressed up with perfect make up and bla bla bla. While I'm just...... Me.

School?
Well classes have always sucked because I don't have much friends since we change classmates everyday.... Lunch is always a dread because many a time I will be alone. It sucks. After school all Ami wants to do is lepak with the boys and I find it too boring that I'd just rather go home alone early. My results isn't that satisfying as well..... Oh just kill me already. Been having curfews as well, ugh! UT1 results were not bad I guess, at least I passed every module. You know, despite not studying for any of them and missing out on too many classes.... Not bad, I suppose. Oh did I mention? My parents totally fucked me up when they received the letter from school that I skipped almost ten classes. Yeah, life sucks. Who cares, no biggy!