Stronger? Definitely.

I think the first few months have gone pretty well for me.

I've become stronger emotionally on many levels. I've learnt not to care as much.

Not contacting any guys at all may suck because I tend to feel lonely sometimes yknow, I mean who doesn't right? But at least I know I'm doing fine without them. Random guys here and there is usual, but it's pretty saddening that I can't get any guy yknow I just feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. But I have learnt to keep looking on the brighter side. I have friends (though not many) who brighten up my life and make me look forward to tomorrow (well not all the time but better than nothing). I have come to realize that we don't always get what we want in life. It's just how it is. I'm not ugly and I'm not physically challenged in any way (except being a lil short haha) so I should be thankful for my imperfections are perfect enough for me. We all have to learn how to love ourselves before others can love us, am I right? Facts.

I don't have much in life at this point right now, I know. But feeling all sad and emotional about it? Ranting all the god damn time about how much my life sucks? Well fuck it, ain't nobody got time for that shit! Just gotta learn to live with it.

I feel lonely 24/7, yes. Despite being surrounded with family/friends, I still feel so alone. Sometimes I just feel pretty much left out, well most of the time actually. Sometimes I wonder, is it just me? Or do people really dislike me?

Let's not talk about my academics ya, I just really hope I won't have to repeat any modules.

I'm really more than happy that my relationship with H has gotten better, we're back to friends now which is better than nothing for me even if he doesn't care. And as for R, we're just on and off I guess. Who cares. I've learnt not to get my feelings involved with boys right now. I'm just having fun flirting around, heh! ;)

I'm successfully quitting smoking, slowly but surely! As for drinking, I really don't know. Pretty much on and off yeah! Situational yknow? I wanna try weed and laughing gas though, and I wanna get real wasted like really drunk. Clubbing? Yeah maybe once or twice, hope I won't get hooked on it though.

Dyou know that I laughed (ok more of giggled/chuckled or something) during my first experience with an actual ____? Yeah it was funny to me, i don't even know why. Oh well I'm just weird like that. At least he laughed too. *shrugs*

So I guess I'm coping well with trying to appreciate my life the way it is. Grateful for everyone and everything, just simply thankful.