Impromptu double date! ♥

A&F *.*

Hehe meet Abang Hadi.....

My one and only A&F model, PERSONAL one :p

Hi I've just got home! Late huh, on a school night.. Hehe!

School was fun today! Wigglers were lucky enough to be one of the two classes chosen to experience the "2 + 2 hour block" for Week 14's Financial Accounting lesson. Went to school with Hamka, Wardah and Faqih today. I think it's cool cause Hamka and Faqih same block, then me and Wardah same block same floor. So I walked to class with Wardah, hehe!

But today I had to head to the lecture room for the first 2 hour block. It was really interesting, I swear! Then we had our lunch break at 10.45am so I ate at lawn with Shafique, Sugi and Wen Liang. We then went to class to meet Yanti and Haziyah and we all went down again to visit the JIVE Fiesta thingy and support Yanti's sister. Visited Wardah at her booth for a little while too! Hehe. We then started working on our problem statement only at around 12.15pm when the next 2 hour block was supposed to start at 12.30pm :/ HAHA. Was pretty easy though, since I've stayed up to read the pre readings and attempted the worksheet all by myself last night. Teehee. ^^ So for the 2nd block, we had gallery walk which was fun! Then we went through 6P and did practice questions. I swear I felt so smart today because I actually understood everything and I knew how to do all the questions! Yay me! *clap clap clap* I then completed my evaluations, quiz and RJ by 3pm and I was done for the day!

I met Wardah at around 3.40pm and we waited for the boys for like 203847928605 years..... Okay no, haha! But they took reallyyyyyy long! We even had a little htht, hehe! When the boys arrived, we took 911 to woodlands but we got caught in a little rain so it totally ruined my hair. ASDFGHJKL haisssss! We then took the train to Somerset and went to Domino's, Wardah's treat! Such a sweetie. ^^ It was surprisingly tasty! We were all really super duper full and headed off for a walk. We went to A&F (my first time, like finallyyyy)! Me and Wardah got to take a picture with the hot sexay duuuude!!!! My first ever Polaroid picture and it's with an A&F model. Mmmmmdap! *.* HEHEHE. But I wasn't really ready :( So my face kinda suck but still.... Heh. I saw lotsa lovely chucks at Tangs, I swear I could have died. *.* After that we just sat down to chill at Starbucks! I had whipped cream, my favourite. Cheyyyy hehe not really lah, I shared my all time favourite mocha frappé with Hamka. But I ate all the whipped cream! Hehehehehe. We then headed home. Baby sent me til Gombak. Hais pity him lah so late and so tired, he still need to travel all the way to his nenek's house in the east and he still has RJ and all to do. Mehhhh.

Well, the impromptu double date was awesome and I had a great time with them! :)

I'm still full from the pizza but apparently mama cooked today. Entah ape angin je mama tibe tibe asyek masak, dah 3rd day ni... Hehehehe nvm it's a good thing that she's cooking! ^^ Shall eat later tonight, heh. *waves* Night ;)

Bitch, please

I'm a strong girl. Yes sir I am, aww yeah! :)

Skatergirl?

OH MY FREAKING 1D.

I just found out that Wardah and baby knows how to skate! SKATE?!?!?!?!

I've been wanting to learn a lil bit, despite being really afraid.... HAHA. Omg this is so damn cool. I can so learn from them! YAY *jumps for joy* hehehehe. This is really exciting! I can't wait to learn. ^^

And besides being a skater, baby's a bmx rider too! OMG how cool is this?! This is like, way too cool. Omg imagine if I learnt how to skate AND ride bmx from baby. Then I'll be a skater and a bmx rider too! AISEH, life would be so fun huh. Hehehehehe. *clap clap clap*

Ok but no I don't have the muscles to be a bmx rider. But hey, let's skate? ;)

Chey, my baby's a dope kid. \m/ ^^ \m/ I also want ah, then we'll be team dope kids. With our snapbacks & chucks/vans. Dayum! HAHAHAHAHA. But low profile, of course ;) Hehe!

The best people in my life ♥

This one I coolkid lah k (layankan je pls)

Ah this one step hotstuff (macam faham only)

This? Just the usual me :)

Vas sapnin? Oh how I miss hearing my babyboy say this, maybe I should re-watch all my darlings' videos again! Hehehehe. I'll be like fangirling all the wayyyyy *.* HEHE!

Okay, so, I pretty much completed my paper RJ in about half an hour. Thus I ended class at like 2pm -.- Everybody left though, so I was the only one in class. I ended up camwhoring alone. >.< Hehe! Forever sempat. Well, those who knows me well knows that I love to take pictures. Hehehehe. Okay so, luckily baby ended at 3pm, earlier than usual, so I only had to wait for like an hour! ^^ We walked to woodlands and oh god the sun..... Last warning sia! It was so hot. Saw Muhaimin and I think he's lost his mind, otak kat pantat agaknye :p Haha! He was freaking wearing jeans with a jacket and a cap! I mean like, boy are you tired of living or something? I swear I think he could have like fainted from some heat stroke or something like that.. SIAO EH? Haissss.

The first thing we did when we reached Causeway Point was get ourselves a bag of my all time favourite, on him! Famous Amos no nut chocolate chip cookies! Mmmmmdappp! *.* We then went up to check out the movies and bought tickets to catch Journey 2 the Mysterious Island, his treat too! Finally catching it. Was supposed to catch it with besties Amirah, Aisyah and Iqbal, but oh well. Our plans forever fail :( HAISSSSS. Well anyways, the movie was just AWESOME. Thanks for the treats, baby! ^^

Oh yeah, I skipped Fuze exco committee meeting. Hehehehe, well, didn't feel like it. Mehhhh *shrugs* CHEY hehe! But well, I guess I didn't miss much. Cause when I asked Zafran, he said they went through and discussed a lot of things. BUT nothing much for me. As in, the other members only ah. The publicity team, which I'm in, practically has nothing to do. Because now the hype is on SLA Fiesta and the outing they're planning for the committee to bond. So I'm fine. ^^

Baby sent me home just now and I pity him. Because even an hour later, he's still not home yet! :( Haissssss. Accompanying him through texts now. ^^ Ok well, mama cooked. I know right, this is rare! So yes, showered, eaten dinner. Mama's so cute! She actually ran out of salt while she was cooking, but when I was eating she could still ask me "sha, masin tak? sedaaaap?" HAHAHAHA mama mama.... Well, it's not masin and it's really yummy! Heh :) Everyone else gets to have home cooked food everyday but as for me, I only get to experience this once in a long while. But I love it still, and I'm thankful. Lurpchu mama! :') *huuuug*

I'm very much better now since I've been so occupied and my loved ones have cheered me up! I really love my BFF and my baby a hell lot! They're just the sweetest ever :') Ami blogged a post on "Bullying" for me (I swear I teared when I read it). Baby with all his texts and the video that he made for me and chatting with me last night, he just made me tear and smile all at the same time. Besides that, the best hugs I received today which made me feel better were the ones from both of them. I swear I love them to bits! I'm grateful to have them in my life. ♥

Pretty much nothing to do now til I head to bed since I'm done with RJ and all.

Barbie or Nicki Minaj?

Gooooooooood afternoon! :)

Well, today's a great day so far. All the people I love have made me feel a hell lot better.

I met Hazirah, Luqy, Wardah, Faqih and Syakir in the morning and we were all waiting for Hamka who took too long due to the jam. Hazirah and Luqy ended up going first. While waiting, Wardah said I look like Barbie and Faqih wanted to buy me for Wardah. Haha! So cute lah the two of them. Then Faqih said I look like Nicki Minaj? HAHAHA. Macam macam only this couple! Hehe. Then when Hamka came I got a huuuug. ^^ Yay! Hehe. Oh Wardah and Hazirah hugged me in the morning too. The walk to school was funny and I gave baby his gift! Heh. ^^ Then he showed off to Wardah and Faqih, hahaha. This boy ah, haissss! So we were all late for class, except Wardah cause today's her late day.

Meeting 1 and 2 was..... All right. *shrugs* Then we were released for lunch at like 11.45am, it was late but then it doesn't matter. Because Miss Lim is really nice today! We're pretty much done for the day, fast huh? We didn't even have to do worksheet. So we have a very long and free lunch time before we have to come back and do RJ in class. But yeah, basically that's it. Awesome much? It's like as if she knows I'm not in the state to do work today, hehe!

During lunch time, Shafique accompanied me to withdraw money while the rest headed to E Canteen first. After withdrawing, I saw Nasrullah! I acknowledged him. ^^ Been a super super long time since I saw him, he looks different. Well ever since that incident last semester, things were a little awkward between us but I'm changing that! Hahaha. Well, it's over so why dwell over it right? :) After that had lunch at E Canteen with the usual part of Wigglers. After lunch, we all went separate ways. Adelia, CK and Padrick as usual went to smoke. Heny, Mui Peng and Tessa went back to class. Me and Shafique went to BookLink to get ice cream! Saw Hamka and Faqih on the way. ^^ I got my Paddle Pop!!!! YAY. Yummmmz. Ami came to find me just to give me a hug! AWWWW, her hug was the best pls. I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY AMI YAMI MUMMY QUEENY :')

Well, I shall go on tumblr now while blasting music in my ear while waiting for Miss Lim to come back to class.

Pinky Junior ♥

All I needed was for someone to be here with me. Just sit in silence and maybe lay down with me. Just to have someone with me so I know that I'm not alone. Someone to hug and know that it'll all be okay. But no, I'm not that blessed. Only my dear Pinky Junior was there to accompany me the whole time. ♥

So I pretty much locked myself in my room the whole day, since like 8am. It's 8.30pm now.. I just finished dinner, my only meal of the day. I didn't want to but I had to because my parents were mad at me. Firstly because I never ever ever lock myself in my room before, so they already found that unusual. Secondly I refused to eat the whole day. But no I didn't tell them anything.

I hate that there's school tmr, I hate that I will have to face people despite feeling so freaking down right now. I know I won't be fine tmr but I have to be fine. So yes, as usual, I will pretend to be. I'm good at that, I guess. I'll just hide it all away, deep down under. No worries. What's new, right? So, yeah.. I'll be fine.

"God knows I'm tough, he knows." - Jason Mraz

Pathetic little me

My face is ugly right now. My eyes hurts. I've been crying so much that my eyes are swollen and red. My nose is red too. I must stop myself from crying. I don't want to go to school tmr like this. People will ask. I don't want people to know. I don't want people to pity me and all that shit. I don't want too many people who care to worry about me. I don't like it. Not one bit. I hate making people I love worry about me. My BFF and my baby are both feeling useless, they both don't know what to do to cheer me up. Well, right now, nothing can. All I need is someone to hug. But sadly it's not possible right now.

Well, she has a hell huge amount of friends who cares for her and pity her and cheer her up and what not. She's lucky, she's blessed. To have so many people there for her. Unlike me. When I'm the one way more hurt than her. I don't get why she's telling everyone still, when I thought we've settled this. She said she's forgiven me but she's still sharing what I did to her to the whole world. I bet everyone's gonna hate me now. I know she has a super mega large circle of close friends which just so happens that some are our mutual friends. I mean, it is RP. Everyone knows everyone one way or another, right?

Well, I have to be strong and quit crying over this stupid matter. I hate how I'm so sensitive and I'm easily affected. Been cooped up in my room since I woke up, most probably gonna stay here the whole day and night. I'm too hungry, I think I'm gonna die.

Am I not me?

I don't feel like myself any more. I'm always so bubbly and cheerful. But now I just don't feel like talking to anyone at all. This is not me. I guess all I need is to be alone. But if I could get a long warm tight hug now, that would be nice. I'm not even eating. My stomach's been grumbling the whole morning. I've skipped breakfast and lunch... I just refuse to eat, I don't feel like it. I don't have the mood to eat. Oh god I'm killing myself, haven't been eating well the past few days too. Fudge.

Deeply hurt

Ok reading her tweets with her friends is killing me. They say that the whole world deserves to know that I'm ungrateful? Didn't I thank you enough when you told me that you helped advice him and all that stuff? Well, I'm sorry I didn't know everything that you did to help. I'm sorry that your tweets shows me that you have something against me. I'm sorry that the way you act when you see me shows me that you don't like me. I'm sorry that I looked at it all in the wrong way. I'm the one at fault, I'm the one to blame, you're innocent and you did nothing. Really, don't fret about it. I'm fully responsible for everything, I get it.

Gosh you girls tweet like I won't be able to see it. I'm terribly hurt. You have no idea how bad I felt about the whole thing and now you girls are just making me feel worse. Oh god.

I broke down last night, this morning and yet again now. How miserable do you want me to be?

Someone just kill me now, shoot me through my heart. I can't take this pain any longer.

Wasting tears

Good morning, here I am again up so early on a Sunday morning.

I went to sleep crying and I woke up crying. I felt bad the whole damn night and I still feel bad right now. I guess this is my punishment for creating such a misunderstanding with her. It's even causing a misunderstanding with baby. I woke up receiving missed calls and texts from baby and Wardah. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone last night. But I guess he thought too much about it thinking he's at fault. Oh god, no. I'm the only one at fault here, in my opinion. I guess he was just too worried he even called Faqih and Faqih told Wardah and so Wardah texted me. Oh dayum why is so many people involved? I got so many people worrying about me and I don't know why. I'm not mad at baby at all, but I caused him to be in a terrible mess just because I didn't reply him and I didn't answer his calls. Fudge, now I hate myself even more. I wonder if everyone else hates me too. I bet they all do. I'm such an annoying, sensitive, emotional, weak, stupid idiotic ass girl. Who in their right mind would love me?

Damn, she's going around telling so many people about me. The only 'people' I told was Ami because she's my bestest friend and she's the only one I trust. But she's like telling the whole world about our misunderstanding. Why? Sigh, I really don't get her at all. I wonder if her side of the story will make me look like a really really bad person :( I hope not..

Silly me

Last minute I actually went out to town today with Nadra. I bought the awesome black, pink and purple vans! Love love! And I also bought something for baby and myself. I really hope he doesn't mind and I hope he likes it. I'm gonna wear mine everyday. ^^ Hehe. Anyways, as soon as I got home, something happened..

Okay. Currently I feel worse and better, both at the same time. I feel really bad that she cried reading my blog. I swear I didn't mean it that way. I was just really paranoid and I didn't know what was going on. So yes, those were my thoughts at the time. Well, I didn't even know that baby knows my blog and that he told her about it. But I feel better because the misunderstanding between us has been solved. Although it was indirectly on twitter, but still. I'm thankful to her for everything. I guess I was the one who caused the whole huge misunderstanding just because I was too paranoid. I was just thinking way too much that I ended up hurting her. I can't believe I did that. I've never meant to hurt her. I'm so deeply sincerely sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I mean it and I hope she knows it. I've apologized to her numerous times on twitter and I still feel bad. Sigh. Well, I guess it's all fine now...? I really hope it is. Oh god I seriously can't believe that I'm at fault. Why did I think so much about that? Why did I have to create this super huge misunderstanding? How silly of me. She's such a nice girl. I hope my stupid-ness won't ruin her friendship with him. God, I actually hate myself right now.

Well, now it's no longer indirect, and we're having a direct conversation on twitter mentioning each other. Sigh. I'm really such an idiot, I'm so dumb. Fudge, what was I thinking? Ergh. I bet she hates me now. I hate myself, I really do.

I changed my blog url because I don't feel safe any more so this is just in case. I thought blogging was safe because nobody knew my blog. Boy was I wrong. So nowhere's safe any more. Facebook, twitter, tumblr, blog. All's too public. Maybe I should get a private blog which only I can read. I really need to share my personal problems some place, because sometimes I really don't feel like telling anybody. It's just me, I don't open up to people that much about my personal problems. Sigh.

One last thing. Wardah's a real sweetie. Of all people, I didn't expect her to be the one who's there for me. She texted me and she offered to help any time I'm in need of it. She was actually worried for me and she cheered me up. I've only just made friends with her very very recently but she's been so nice to me, I'm thankful to have met her. :')

But of course, not forgetting my bestest friend, Ami. She calmed me down too and she helped me feel a little better. I love her to bits, she's always there for me.

Now I shall just lay in bed, and stone. I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna stare at the ceiling. I'm just gonna think. I'm just gonna continue feeling real bad. And I think I might just cry, but maybe I need that. I don't even feel like talking to baby, to anyone for that matter. I'm just that affected. Well, goodnight then.

Let's get high

Good morning lovelies! :*

I really have no idea why I'm up so early on a Saturday when I have nothing on the whole day.

I had a really really bad dream about baby. It was a real nightmare for me! I couldn't believe what happened, but I'm oh so glad that it was just a dream. :'(

Last night I was really hyper for God knows why. I was spamming twitter like as if I freaking owned it. It was fun but I bet I annoyed the shit out of every single follower of mine, sorry y'all. Plus, it was the first time I was being all hyper with baby on MSN. I wonder if it annoyed him though :/ Oh well, I was just being myself.

Did you know that I have been really affected by his best friend a hell lot these past few days? Well yeah, I was. I think she has something against me. I don't get it though. I mean, I'm all nice to her and I've never done anything to hurt her. But somehow, I think something is happening (I don't know what) and I think she doesn't like me. It really hurts to see the things she tweets about me/him sometimes. I really don't understand and I have no idea what's going through her mind. I really don't like the fact that me being with him is affecting her friendship with him, I mean they're best friends for goodness sake. Well, I was talking to Ami about it and she told me to tell him. I really didn't want to because I was really afraid of what he might say. But I'm glad I did. What he said to me last night was just the sweetest. It was all I needed to make me feel better. The assurance he gave me, it made me smile. Right there and then I wish I was with him so I could hug him real tight and never let go. I love how he's so sweet :') Well, I guess I shouldn't worry about her any longer. I shouldn't let her affect my thoughts and my mood any more.

Okay so, I guess I'm staying home this weekend. No plans at all. *shrugs*

Have a great weekend, everybody! x

Hugs, who doesn't love them?

Vas sapnin? ;)

Yesterday I spent my after school time with my dearest boy. I can't believe what happened, but I shall look past that. It was just, our hormones acting up. It was a little too far for what we are now, but he apologized. So I guess it's fine.

Today I spent my after school time with my bestest friend yet again. And for the first time, she met my baby. It seemed a little awkward though. Well, it's okay because someday it'll be like they're best friends! I hope.. So yet again, we took pictures. I have to say it is one of the many things we both have in common. We really really really love to take lots of pictures, a huge emphasize on the love. Being my most comfortable self with her, you will be able to see the real me in our pictures. I love acting silly and making stupid faces with her, it's a hell load of fun!

I feel that today is a really really nice day because I get to bump into so many people and I got lots of hugs in just one day! Lemme list the people I got to hug today, just cause I feel like doing so. Hamka, Wardah, Amirah, Ashhy, Fyqa, Liyana, Hamidah, Fiona, Faris, Aiman.. Well, that's all I can remember. Plus, two of them are birthday girls! :') It was really nice receiving so many warm hugs in just one day from so many different people. I like hugs, I really do.

My sweetheart, forever more

Look at these. I snapshot them from Ami's blog. Click on 'em to see clearer. How sweet of her :') I swear I love her more than words! ♥

Best I ever had ♥

Yesterday I spent quality time with my bestest friend ever, Nurul Amirah. It's been a while since I've just hanged out with her doing nothing but yet having so much fun. So we had late lunch at the south food court after school while telling each other stories, as usual. We then went to just slack at the library, at one of our usual spots. I had so much fun taking pictures with her! It has really been a long while since we spammed pictures. I missed it so much, we used to do this a hell lot. We laughed our asses off while taking stupid silly pictures that I ended up lying on the floor and we both had cramps after laughing so much. I even teared up, it was really nice. I really miss hanging out with Ami, just the two of us, not having a care in the world and just being ourselves. We were laughing so loud that I think a lot of people must have heard us and thought we were out of our minds. Luke and Ashhy were on the upper floor and came by to tell us that we were annoying because they could hear our laughter from where they were. So after all that fun, we then walked from school to woodlands laughing and talking out loud like we were the only ones there. Like we owned the world. I really miss being all hyped up with my dearest best friend. Well, I sure had a hell of a time with her yesterday. She's the best. She knows me so well and she's always there for me. I love her so much that words cannot express :') ♥

Lazy day

Hiiiiii there! Well, today's a Wednesday. This only means one thing. It's my slack day of the week! ;) Basically because Business Statistics is every Wednesdays and I totally dread it! It sucks and I've given up on it. So yes, I did not do any work in class, as usual. My classmates know me well. They never expect anything from me when it's a Wednesday and they're fine with it. I love my class, my dear darling Wigglers. <3 Okay I went to school with him and spent my lunch time hanging out with him. He never fails to put a smile on my face, and he makes me laugh too! The sweetest thing was that, he just changed his iPhone wallpaper to a picture of us. Awwww~ :') Hehe! Okay now, lunch time is over and it's back to class for meeting 3! Toodles. ^^

Picnic with new friends!

Hi, yesterday I had an awesome day out. For the first time, I met his friends. I was shy at first, but they were all so friendly that I felt comfortable soon enough. We had a picnic at Marina Barrage and then went to get dinner from Marina Square and had them by the river. It was nice. I really enjoyed the day. Plus, the guys were rather entertaining. With their jokes and stories, and their random singing. I have to say, they sound good when they sing together. Faqih can sing really well. I was surprised by them. Haha! Well, all in all, I had a great time. He sent me home after and I reached home at almost 11pm. Today, he was really sweet. I like the fact that he still acts that way with me when we were with his friends like as if it was just the two of us. And can you believe it? I finally own a snapback! I'm so happy. He gave me one of his. How sweet can he be? :') Well, I'm really grateful and thankful. And I'm glad I went out with him and his friends. ^^

Today I was supposed to go out with my best friend, Faris. But he couldn't make it. :( So I guess it's a stay home Tuesday for me then. Oh well.

I hope everyone had a great Lunar New Year and a great 4-day holiday! :) x

:/

I'm insecure, don't know what for.

Thoughts that kill me inside

I've always heard of stories where best friends of the opposite sex fall in love with each other. Always. But you see, it doesn't happen to me. Ever. I have quite a number of guy best friends, and I'm not in love with any of them. Although I do love them very much, as best friends. Therefore I have never believed in it. I never thought this is true, I never thought it could happen. I never thought about it much since it doesn't bother me at all. But recently, this is bothering me a hell lot. It affects me, very much. I wonder about it all the time. However much I try to think otherwise, I can't help myself. Well, here's the story...

After dating for about a month or so, I've fallen in love with this guy. The way he acts with me, the way he treats me, everything. He's like the sweetest. But you see, that's the thing. He's too sweet, not only to me. Well, he has this best friend. She's really nice and all. But I'm afraid that she has feelings for him. I'm afraid that I might be the "bad girl" for cutting in. I'm afraid that if he finds out, he might feel bad. And he might want to keep their friendship over our relationship, if it really affects her that much. I'm afraid that he might choose her over me. I'm afraid that what we have might not be as much as what they have. I'm afraid that my heart will get broken yet again. It already took me a long time and much thoughts to finally come to a huge decision to let go of what happened last semester. I've decided to move on, to open my heart to him, to give him a chance. But what if, he breaks it just like the other guy did? What if he falls for her too? Okay but maybe I'm just being too sensitive and I'm over reacting. Like, they ARE best friends. Plus, they are far relatives too. They can't possibly, right? But hey, it's still possible.

After being hurt too many a time, and currently still recovering from a very recent heart break, I can't help but think too much about this. Maybe I should let this go. I'm such a weakling. I need a hell lot of an assurance. I need a hell lot of trust too. I need to know that I'm the only one he loves, that he'll be faithful and loyal, that I'm his. I need that promise. I need all of it. Before I'm ready to commit. I'm just not too sure right now. And for the first time, I cried, for him. I'm stupid, we're not even together yet and I'm already crying, afraid that I'll lose him. What an idiot.

Cheers to a new year ♥

Hi, it's been way too long since i've last updated.

So many things has happened to me. Oh and happy new year everyone :)

School's fine. My sem 2 class is the awesomest! My one and only Wigglers <3 I'm really gonna miss them when we gotta change class again for year 2 sem 1. Also, i'm in the exco committee for Fuze IG. Other than that, i've found love.

I've also worked at MBS for a few months. I've quitted though. It was a very boring and slack job, which was worth the money. But papa made me quit, he found out and he doesn't allow me to work yet. Sucks right? I know. I'm like turning 18 and he still doesn't want me to work. My first work experience was when I was 17. Makes it seem like I'm spoiled, doesn't it? Haha.

Well, that's all for now. More updates soon! xx