I've always heard of stories where best friends of the opposite sex fall in love with each other. Always. But you see, it doesn't happen to me. Ever. I have quite a number of guy best friends, and I'm not in love with any of them. Although I do love them very much, as best friends. Therefore I have never believed in it. I never thought this is true, I never thought it could happen. I never thought about it much since it doesn't bother me at all. But recently, this is bothering me a hell lot. It affects me, very much. I wonder about it all the time. However much I try to think otherwise, I can't help myself. Well, here's the story...
After dating for about a month or so, I've fallen in love with this guy. The way he acts with me, the way he treats me, everything. He's like the sweetest. But you see, that's the thing. He's too sweet, not only to me. Well, he has this best friend. She's really nice and all. But I'm afraid that she has feelings for him. I'm afraid that I might be the "bad girl" for cutting in. I'm afraid that if he finds out, he might feel bad. And he might want to keep their friendship over our relationship, if it really affects her that much. I'm afraid that he might choose her over me. I'm afraid that what we have might not be as much as what they have. I'm afraid that my heart will get broken yet again. It already took me a long time and much thoughts to finally come to a huge decision to let go of what happened last semester. I've decided to move on, to open my heart to him, to give him a chance. But what if, he breaks it just like the other guy did? What if he falls for her too? Okay but maybe I'm just being too sensitive and I'm over reacting. Like, they ARE best friends. Plus, they are far relatives too. They can't possibly, right? But hey, it's still possible.
After being hurt too many a time, and currently still recovering from a very recent heart break, I can't help but think too much about this. Maybe I should let this go. I'm such a weakling. I need a hell lot of an assurance. I need a hell lot of trust too. I need to know that I'm the only one he loves, that he'll be faithful and loyal, that I'm his. I need that promise. I need all of it. Before I'm ready to commit. I'm just not too sure right now. And for the first time, I cried, for him. I'm stupid, we're not even together yet and I'm already crying, afraid that I'll lose him. What an idiot.
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